New Nürburgring ticket system coming in 2015

  

 With new owners and a profit-led outlook, it was only natural that the Nürburgring would be shook up a little bit. But nobody saw this coming.

A lot of people have been questioning if the Nürburgring Nordschleife can truly be classed as a public road when it flips over to private ownership in 2015.

It's a question that somebody in the new management has been thinking about, and the result can be seen above. Consultants have exclusively revealed the new format for touristenfahrten (or public driving) in 2015 and it's time-based, not lap-based.

"We will move more towards a trackday-style operation in 2015," admitted Sales Consultant Robin B'stard. "Drivers will pay for their time on the track, not for the number of laps they want to do. This will bring the Nürburgring more into line with other circuits around the world. It's common-sense, really."

This is a massive change to the current "per lap" pricing model. So why the change?

"It was felt by many in upper management that the poorer people with slower cars were not paying their fair share for track use. For example, one customer has a nice new Porsche GT3, and laps in around 8 minutes. Then another customer arrives in a 1989 Volvo 240D and laps in 16 minutes. Why should the Volvo driver be paying only half the amount pro rata?"

When challenged that the hypothetical Porsche driver might get 6 or even 7 laps per hour, as opposed to the afore-mentioned Volvo driver with only 3 laps per hour, our source had another interesting point to make.

"While it is true that some drivers will be making more laps per hour, our own internal predictions and modelling point towards a fantastic increase in secondary profits. As more drivers attempt to gain maximum value from our hourly tickets, the guardrail profits should increase exponentially."

And what of refunds for track closures?

"There will be no such thing," grinned Mr B'stard while rubbing his hands together.

Rumours that machine guns and wheel spikes will be available to rent from the Devil's Diner are totally unfounded, he added.